Understanding Lack vs Abundance (This Changed My Life)

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Last Updated on April 29, 2024 by Isabelle Dias

Have you ever cried alone in your car?

Ok, maybe not a car… But have you ever cried alone in the shower (classic!), in your bed before falling asleep, or just in a place where you are completely alone? 

Well, I had—many, many times. 

The last one was just last week when I was leaving my in-law’s house after Thanksgiving and getting ready to go back to NYC. 

And my little melt-down happened for a few reasons:

• I was super tired
• I felt like I did not have enough time
• I felt like I did not have enough energy
• I felt like I was not enough to accomplish the goals I wanted to
• I didn’t want to go back to NYC (I have a love/hate relationship with this city, but more on that soon). 

I did my best to put into practice the thing I tell you all the time: “all feelings are meant to be felt.” But at that time, I was ashamed of my feelings. 

“How do I dare to cry and feel all those negative feelings when I am having so much success? When will I have such an incredible husband? When I just had two beautiful weeks?” 

And then I cried some more for being ashamed of feeling ashamed about my feelings. 

I did my best to compose myself, get back into the house, and finish packing.

A few hours later, my husband and I were on the road, and he was asking me some questions to help me understand why all those feelings were so big and what triggered them in the first place. 

Something happened during that 4-hour road trip because I felt lighter, happier, and at ease when I got home. Something I haven’t felt in a few days. 

How the Lack vs Abundance Mindset Works

When I woke up the next day, I started journaling and realized that I was only focusing on the lack: 

• I don’t have the energy
• I don’t have time
• I don’t have what it takes
• I don’t live in the city I wanna live 

All those statements are valid. But only focusing on the lack was making me feel overwhelmed and pressed against the wall, with seemingly nowhere to go.

That’s when I started to ask myself: What do I have in abundance? 

• I have the freedom to choose how my day will look like
• I have the freedom to work as much or as little as I want in a day
• I have the freedom to rearrange my schedule

Looking at the things I have in abundance helped me create leverage and room to breathe to pay closer attention to the feelings. 

This can be life-changing when going deeper into the understanding of abundance vs lack.

So, I did. I slowed down. I took things out of my plate and understood why I felt so strongly about all those things. 

I realized I was again going down the path of letting work results and expectations define my worth and how much I should enjoy my life. Yikes. 

I am currently reminding myself that work is only 10% of life and that 90% is worth more. 

Beyond that, my productivity and results have nothing to do with my worth as a human and are not supposed to dictate my happiness. 

Abundance Mindset

I am sharing this with you because we all go through moments of lack. That’s part of life.

But even in those moments, abundance is always an option. 

It’s not about toxic positivity.

It’s about looking at your uncomfortable feelings with compassion and understanding where in your life you can get leverage and strength from, so you can deal with what needs attention. 

You can always choose between lack and abundance.

So, how are you going to choose abundance today?

Always remember: you deserve to live a life you are absolutely in love with! 

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