5 Foolproof Steps to Become a Confident Woman

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Last Updated on July 3, 2023 by Isabelle Dias

Everyone around says that you are amazing. You are a good friend, a fantastic partner, the one people always can count on… But deep inside, you have a dirty little secret: you don’t feel confident AT ALL! 

While everyone thinks you are the Belle of the ball, you feel more like the Beast. Before the transformation. Oh no… Are you faded to live like this forever?

For years I have been in the same place you are right now. Sometimes I felt so overwhelmed with my lack of self-confidence that I gave up on dream jobs, relationships, party invites, etc.

It was like I was waiting to start living when I felt ready and confident. But that day never seemed to come! 

Fortunately, I overcame that, and today I’m a proud owner of badass confidence! And I feel no shame in owning it! 

The confidence-building journey is a complex one. There are so many layers to what makes someone confident and, especially, what makes a low self-worth person into a confident goddess. 

But today, I want to share what I consider the 5 primary steps in becoming a confident woman. 

Are you ready, Belle? 

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Becoming a confident woman

#1 Understand where your low self-confidence is placed 

It is common to assume that, when someone has low self-confidence, they don’t see absolutely anything good in themselves. 

This type of perception can make the building of confidence seems ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE!

The good news is that this is not how things work.

Most of the time, if a woman is not confident in her appearance, she still can be confident in her intellectual ability and work skills. 

Or the confidence lack can happen in relationships, but she is damn sure of how beautiful and talented she is. 

For example, I used to be incredibly insecure in my appearance. Still, I wouldn’t believe no one who called me dumb or incompetent at my job. 

OF COURSE, one thing will interfere with another. And the low self-worth will most likely leak to other areas of life in certain situations. 

The thing is: most people can identify at least one thing they are good at. Even if they have low self-esteem. 

I know those things can seem controversial at first glance, but that’s the reality of most women with low self-confidence. 

To build confidence, you need to gain clarity on what is your main problem area. Without this honest perception, you will feel like running in circles without ever having real results. 

As your first step to become a confident woman, I want you to write down your main pain area regarding your confidence. 

Maybe it’s your body, love life, social situations, or your intellectual skills. 

Allow yourself to be vulnerable and write it down where it is hurting.  

Also, it’s ok to have more than one sensitive area. But BE CLEAR about what is your primary domain in need of work. 

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Be a confident woman.

#2 Create a plan to boost your self-confidence 

Now that you became crystal clear on what is the ONE THING that, if resolved, will build your confidence, it’s time to create a plan! 

This second step will look different to everyone. It really depends on what was your answer to that first question. 

If your confidence-weakness is your intellectual aptitude 

Start watching Youtube videos on the subject you want to get better. Or read books about the topic, enroll in online classes, listen to podcasts on the theme, etc. 

Surround yourself with information and educate yourself! This will create a new internal story: the one where you are growing, learning, becoming a goddess on the one thing that used to scare you.

If your confidence-weakness is your appearance

 First, understand what bothers you. It’s the way that you dress? Is it your weight? Your hair? Your skin? Be as specific as possible! 

Then start the same process: educate yourself! Research on body types, styling, style, different options for your type of hair… 

Start a Pinterest board with inspiration for the new you and bring all those ideas to reality. 

If what bothers you, it’s your body and weight be honest: how much of this unhappiness was created by trying to fit into society standards? And how much it really bothers you?

There is NOTHING wrong with changing your body IF you are doing this for yourself. 

If you conclude that there is more to do with outside pressure than anything else, I highly suggest you get familiarized with the body positivity movement. It can set you free and boost your confidence.

This Youtube video is a great place to start!

If your confidence-weakness is relationships

Ok, girl, if your insecurities pop-up whenever there is a romantic prospect around, let’s dig in!

There are many reasons you may be insecure when talking L-O-V-E, so pay attention to them.

Is something to do with a past relationship that was traumatizing? Or just fear of not being good enough? Be honest with yourself when answering that.

I used to be especially insecure in that area, and what changed my life was educating myself on the topic!

In my opinion, THE BEST resource for it today is Matthew Hussey videos on Youtube. I used to binge-watch them all the time before I met my husband! 

Don’t fool yourself thinking this guy will only show you secrets to get the guy (or girl) of your dreams, it’s way beyond that.

Matthew teaches how to value ourselves before we go around trying to get with anyone else.

If you are interested, I recommend you to start with this video here.

If your confidence-weakness is anything else

GET EDUCATED, WOMAN!  

I am a firm believer that education sets us free. It doesn’t matter where we feel trapped. 

When you learn about the thing that scares you, you gain power over it.

You start to see new aspects and perspectives. You come up with new ways to approach the challenge.

See the examples here as a template for creating a become-confident-plan to anything that is making you feel less than you are, queen. 

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Becoming a more confident woman

#3 As you gain momentum, start going a little deeper 

Now that you already are intentional about building your confidence in your most sensitive area, it’s time to dig a little deeper.

Low self-confidence is a much more complicated matter than it sounds. 

If you want to have everlasting results that go way beyond a temporary confidence boost, you need to commit to a lifetime journey. 

Knowing yourself, your beliefs, what drives you, what triggers you, and who you really are is the scariest and most beautiful ride you’ll ever take.

To truly become a confident woman, you will need to look at your past, relationships, choices, personal worldviews, and who you allow into your life. 

Use the strength and momentum you are gaining to put your initial plan into practice, dive deep inside yourself, and confront some old demons. 

I wrote a post called “10 Best Kept Secrets to Actually Become Confident” to help you with that. There I will share some resources and a step by step process on building your confidence 201. 

Click here to read and get deep, it will be completely worth it!

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How to become a confident woman

#4 Create a daily routine that supports the building of your confidence 

When cultivating your confidence, especially when it’s still a baby-confidence, you need structure. 

Something that will help you keep on track every day, even when you don’t feel like it.

One of the best ways to that is creating routines for your day! It can be something as simple as a 5-minute morning routine, or a simple self-care night routine. 

Those things will make sure that you are being consistent with your self-confidence building plan. 

Take time for yourself daily and reserving precious minutes away from the craziness of life to devote to the most important person of your life: yourself.

If you need some inspiration to start a routine: 

• Here is a post, it’s about my miraculous 5-minute morning routine 
• + Another one telling you all about my inside out glow up night routine.

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How to become a confident woman again

#5 Prioritize solitude

Adding a little more to step #4, I can’t express enough the importance of solitude during your confidence building journey!

If you are not familiar with the concept of solitude, the Cambridge Dictionary defines this word as:

The situation of being alone, often by choice.

Solitude is the choice of separating ourselves from the outside world to spend quality time alone. 

This is so important during your journey that you NEED TIME to process and reflect on all the changes, learnings, and lessons.

Those precious moments of solitude are carefully curated to bring peace to your heart and mind in the middle of the chaos.

And it can be as simple as taking yourself on a coffee shop date, to read a book for a few hours. Having an indulging bubble bath, candles, and good music. Or just meditating on a late Sunday morning, before going to brunch with your friends.

When you spend alone time with yourself, you start to notice things about you and your personality that you would never pay attention to before.

You start to fall in love with the amazing woman that you are, learning new things about her. 

And that’s the secret sauce fo real confidence! 

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How to become a self-confident woman

Last Thoughts…

I couldn’t have said it better! 

Have patience with yourself and trust the journey. You deserve to feel like a badass, because oh dear… You ARE ONE! 

Now, let me know in the comments: When do you feel the most confidence?

For me, it’s when I’m on my flow, writing about what I love. 

Also, you enjoyed this post or have any questions for me, please feel free to leave me a comment below! I would love to hear from you!

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